Grief, the opposite side of the coin from love…

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The world is all but ending, but I cant lay down and die

I miss you now, most all of the time

And I cant help but wonder why, oh oh oh.

“Hard to Say It’s Over” – Sheena Easton

Grief, the opposite side of the coin from love. The harder we love, the harder we grieve. That is the truth whether man or woman, old or young, parent or child.

I am expected and can do many things as a funeral director and embalmer. I can restore someone’s appearance to a more natural look. I can handle the multitude of forms and documents that must be generated. I can process and work with government agencies like the State of North Carolina and the federal government for death certificates and social security issues respectively. But there is one thing I cannot do, I cannot remove the pain.

Truth be told, I can mitigate it. I can listen to the stories that made everyone laugh. I can share stories of the craziness in my own family to show others that they really are normal. I can even facilitate a Celebration of Life Service. But remove the pain? No, that I cannot.

There is only one balm for the pain and that is time. You do not need to make the time to feel hurt, that is thrust upon you. But you must also take the time to remember the times when you were blessed with living, loving and laughter. Will it remove the pain? No, but like a wound slowly heals, your hurt will gradually diminish as well.

So the next time you feel that pain and hurt, take a moment and remember the joy and love as well. It is okay to experience that love/loss coin, just be sure to remember that there are two sides and give yourself permission to continue to experience both.

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