Sometimes people with the best of intentions forget that the holidays amplify emotions for most of us—good and bad.

For so many, it’s the first holidays without a loved one, with family they couldn’t afford to travel and visit, with a budget that’s non-existent due to a job loss, or a newly diagnosed health condition.

I say all of this not to dampen your holiday spirit. I believe we always, always have things for which to be thankful. I say it because we tend to share (and post) “the best of”. We have a tendency not to say “I am so overwhelmed, stressed and discouraged, can we talk?”, but to say “Oh yeah, everything’s great.”

This season, we all can rise to the occasion of and opportunity for grace. We can give the person that just cut us off compassion—perhaps they’re going to the hospital to visit a relative. We can even pay it forward the next time we’re in line getting the comfort of coffee.

Don’t have family and friends locally? Volunteer at a local shelter. Your heart with implode with gratitude. Feeling lonely? Your friends want to hear from you. You’re not ruining their holiday spirit, you’re giving them an opportunity to show you grace and compassion. THAT is the holiday spirit.